Game Night
by Illo2113
Summary: McCree ropes Genji into a game of Dungeons and Dragons with Ana, Reinhardt, and Mercy. Even angsty cyborg ninjas need to take a break sometimes. Loosely based on the Junkenstein's Revenge event. Not a shipfic, may have some light Gency sprinkled around though. It's whatever. Updated when I feel like it, which could be never. Expect short, sporadic chapters.
1. Chapter 1

"I feel like our definitions of 'extremely important' are very different, Jesse."

Genji Shimada sat, arms crossed, at a table in the recreation room in Watchpoint Gibraltar. He was, after a few years working with him, used to his coworker's juvenile and inane pursuits, but never before had he seen the Strike Commander's second-in-command take part.

"Shimmy, this _is_ important. It's a tactical combat simulation meant to bolster your improvisational thinking, and improve teamwork. Soldiers been using it for decades, and seein' how excited Miss Amari and the big guy are, i'd say they agree with me."

"It's a _board game._ For _children._ "

Lieutenant Wilhelm Reinhardt, a few feet too big for the rec room's simple plastic chairs (as well as his simple black t-shirt, an all-too common occurrence), chose this moment to stand, knocking his chair over. His voice booming through the relatively small room and head almost colliding with the ceiling, he announced:

"Dungeons and Dragons is not a simple board game my young friend! It is an ancient game of wits, of courage and cowardice, heroism and villainy! Legends are forged in battle and friendships are carved in the blood of war!"

The Lieutenant held a triumphant pose, hands firmly placed at his hips, gazing towards an invisible horizon. Captain Ana Amari, whose own seat had come dangerously close to being pushed down by Reinhardt's excessive mass, rolled her eyes and laughed.

"Bingo. Ain't just a board game, it's a whole new world of intrigue and adventure!" Jesse continued, adding emphasis with the help of a series of hand gestures that could only be described as "magician-like". "I know it's not really your thing what with that whole 'Aw jeez I hate my brother and my entire family for trying to have me killed and getting me turned into a crime against nature' thing you've got going on, but I figure maybe it'll help you relax a little. Plus, with the old man outta town we needed a fifth."

Genji scowled, although it wasn't visible from beneath the metal mask that covered most of his face. "I doubt being around you is going to relax me in any way, Jesse." Genji stood from his seat and turned to leave. "I'm going to train. Don't bother me."

The door to the rec room slid open like a curtain, revealing a blonde clad in a blindingly white coat.

"Oh! Genji! I didn't think I would see you here. Did I miss anything?" She asked, hurriedly shuffling to the table's only empty seat.

Jesse leaned back, crossing his legs and resting them on the table. "Nothin' much, Doc. Genji here was just telling us about how excited he is about game night. Ain't that right Shim-Sham?"

Genji glared at Jesse, who wore a shit-eating grin rivaling that of Reyes' when the Strike Commander threw up after eating a bad batch of beef on Overwatch's first (and only) Taco Tuesday. He contemplated stabbing Jesse, but eventually found himself sitting back down.

"I hate you so much," Genji muttered.

* * *

"Alright, I know you three got some new characters for tonight and I'm sure you're achin' to show 'em off, so why don't ya'll start introducing yourselves. Genji, you're new so I won't bother you with the rules too much, just try to make somethin' up."

Reinhardt was the first, producing a sheet of paper that was comically small in his oversized hands.

"My name is Armina. I worked in a quiet town for many years as an alchemist, until the undead hordes appeared, seemingly out of nowhere." Reinhardt's voice echoed throughout the room, making him even larger than he already appeared. "With no home, I now roam the land searching for a way to banish the undead and bring justice in the name of those lost souls I was unable to save."

Reinhardt once again finished his statement with a dramatic gaze into the distance, which Genji had a hard time seeing as anything other than absurd. Ana was next, and sounded like a mouse compared to Reinhardt.

"I am Jabez, a soldier from a bygone era. I have seen war after war, and the only one that has accompanied me throughout it all is death. After the last great war, however, there has been peace, and the world became shrouded in unknowns. I searched for a purpose, for meaning. Eventually, it found me. The undead arrived and the shroud was lifted - my purpose is clear. This is a war, and I do not intend to make it the first that I lose."

Doctor Angela Ziegler (Ph.D.) began her character's description in a poorly-done "American" accent, causing Jesse to raise an eyebrow, Reinhardt to giggle (which, due to his size, was still closer to a guffaw), and Genji to genuinely smile beneath his mask (a rarity, ever since his brother attempted to murder him).

"Mah name is James Macready, and I reckon I'm the quick-drawinest gunslingin' vampire hunter round these parts ya'll've ever seen. I ain't had a family even since ah was a babe, but damned if I don't know how ta' kill things what cain't be killed. Only thing I love more then' slammin a long, silver bullet into a well-greased chamber's the feel of a hot sausage on mah tongue, and a shot o' warm whiskey down mah gullet."

Jesse frowned. "Well, hey now. I don't sound like that." Angela, busy making finger guns and "pew, pew" sounds at the other players, largely ignored Jesse's dissatisfaction.

Angela pointed a finger gun at Genji, and asked: "How 'bout yew pard-en-er? How's I gonna call ya?"

Genji glanced around the room as the others looked at him expectantly.

"Uh…"

"Just do somethin' you know, Slim," Jesse suggested.

Genji thought for a moment.

"My, uh, name. My name is Jiro. I am… an archer. From another land."

Genji paused again.

"Once, I was a great warrior. But, I was forced into exile because of my actions. Now, I must redeem myself and bring honor to my kin. Perhaps… perhaps I will one day return to my home, a better man."

"Jackpot! That's what I'm talkin' about, Grape Juice!" Jesse's shouting pulled Genji from a deep thought he hadn't realised he had entered. "Wasn't so hard, was it? Now that ya'll are introduced, I think it's high time we get started!"

Jesse rolled a parchment-colored sheet across the table, spreading a grid of squares from end to end. Leaning towards the seated players, he began to speak:

"Your journey begins on the slithering path through Adlersbrunn…"


	2. Chapter 2

The Gunslinger strode through the forest, pistol at his side. An air of confidence surrounded him, made evident to any outside observer by the fact that he made no attempt to hide his presence. His boots crunched loudly, and the glow of his cigarette meant any marksman worth a dime would easily see him coming through the cold night air. The Gunslinger wasn't worried, however, as he would say to every ma'am and madam that bothered to ask about his strange garb (long dark coats were somewhat common for drifters, adventurers, or shady characters. A long dark coat featuring an extra-thick collar and a bag of onions was less so). The kind he hunted would see him coming regardless, cigarette or no cigarette. Not that he was limited to one specific kind - there were a lot of things that needed killing.

The Gunslinger spotted a glistening stain, out of place on the dull forest floor, and sucked on the end of his cigarette. He had been following a series of similar stains until this point, and planned on continuing to do so. This, as monotonous as it was, was one of the Gunslinger's favorite moments of the hunt. He smiled as he thought of how an occupation such as his, dangerous and unpredictable in theory, became almost habit in practice. They would always fight back at first, not realising the man they hunted was a beast in his own right. The quarry would then run, pride (and, generally speaking, body) wounded, leaving signs obvious enough to anyone that's dabbled in tracking.

Of course, the signs weren't usually as obvious as the creature itself, a massive grey lupine, lying dead on border of forest and field.

The Gunslinger lowered himself to the body, confused. "Werewolf big as this shouldn't have been downed by one shot to the gut. Someone else must have gotten to it," he said, to no one in particular. His suspicions were confirmed upon turning over the body, as an arrow lay buried in the beast's heart.

"Hello, Macready."

* * *

"I do not understand. I know Ange - Doctor Ziegler, and her character. You had us introduce ourselves."

Jesse adjusted his hat, attempting to explain Genji's mistake. "Okay, well, it's like, _you_ know but like, _Jiro_ doesn't know. You know? Like, _you_ guys introduced your characters to each other, but your characters haven't introduced themselves to each other."

"But I _am_ Jiro, correct?"

"Well, yeah, technically, but-"

"It's like Star Wars!" Reinhardt interrupted, momentarily silencing the two men.

"What?" They asked, simultaneously.

"It's an old movie series of chivalry and valor beyond the stars, of the rise and fall of an order of noble knights, of betrayal and rede-"

Jesse waved his hand. "Yeah, yeah. What's it got to do with this?"

Ana raised her voice. "What our overdramatic friend here means is, although you control their actions, Jiro is still a character in a story. When you are watching a movie, such as Star Wars, you may know things that the characters do not, but the characters still do not know them."

Genji nodded. "I see. Thank you, Captain Amari. I will keep this in mind."

"That's pretty much what I said." Jesse muttered, causing Angela to chuckle.

"I'm sorry, McCree, I could not, like, understand you, like, you know?"

"Aw, don't you start, Doc."

* * *

"Hello."

The Gunslinger turned to face an unknown voice, hand already pulling towards the grip of his pistol. Before him stood a taller foreigner, bow in hand.

"So, I reckon you're the one that killed this thing, then? Been a long time since anyone's seen an archer 'round here."

The Archer's own hand moved closer to a quiver filled with arrows identical to the one in the wolf's chest, and the Gunslinger began to wonder if it was time to fall back on the old policy of "shoot first, stay alive to ask questions later".

"Yes. You are the one that wounded it?"

"The very same. Some mighty fine shootin' on your part."

"Indeed. The same cannot be said for you."

"Jeez. That's kinda rude, friend."

The two men stood hardly ten feet away from each other, but either one could have felt the other's stare from across the continent.

"You a hunter?"

"In a sense."

Other than the occasional insect, the air was as dead as the wolf.

"Hunt wolves often?"

"No."

"Zombies? Griffins? Dragons?"

"Men."

"Ah. I don't suppose you came here looking for me, didja?"

"No."

"In that case, why don't you an' me both move our hands away from our respective weaponry, and maybe we'll take a walk to Greefsfeld. I'll buy you a drink if ya don't shoot me?"

The Archer saw no problem with this, although something about this man seemed… _off._

"Don't suppose you'd be willing to help me carry Mr. Doggy over here?"

"No."

"...You don't talk that much, do you?"

"Not to you."

"Fair enough."

As the two began the hike to Greefsfeld, the Archer couldn't help but notice the Gunslinger straining under the weight of the dead 300-pound throw rug.

"Didn't catch your name back there, by the way. Be nice to call you somethin' other than 'stranger' if you don't mind me askin'."

"Jiro."

"Good to meet ya. Name's Macready. I'd, uh, shake yer hand, but I'm a little busy at the moment. As you can see".

"Fair enough," the Archer replied through a faint smile.


	3. Chapter 3

"I don't think this is a good idea, Reinhardt."

"Nonsense, Ana. I have thought this through, my plan is foolproof."

"Lieutenant, a head-on assault will most likely fail. We are most likely greatly outnumbered, I advise an alter-"

"JUSTICE ALWAYS PREVAILS, MY YOUNG FRIEND!"

Angela stifled a laugh. "I don't know Genji, I think Reinhardt makes some good points."

"We have no ammunition, Doctor."

"I would just like to say that I suggested we stop to purchase more an hour ago," Ana pointed out in a motherly fashion only she was capable of. "If you had listened to me then this would not be a problem, so I apologize if it's too much of a stretch to believe you should listen to me now."

"Ya'll, I feel like maybe I should point out time ain't exactly on your side."

"Why don't we just split up? Armina and I can cause a distraction while Jiro and Jabez find another route into the temple."

Genji nodded in agreement. "A diversion will increase the odds of a successful infiltration."

"BAH! A HOUSE DIVIDED CANNOT STAND!"

"While I disagree with Reinhardt's tactics, splitting the party is usually a bad idea."

"It doesn't seem like we're going to make a decision anytime soon, and as our DM pointed out we need to. What time is it anyways?"

"Uh, it's - wait, like, in the game?"

"Yeah, how long has it been?"

"It's been like five minutes."

"FIVE MINUTES THAT JUSTICE HAS REMAINED UNDELIVERED!"

"Okay. Reinhardt, if Genji and Ana agree to go through with your plan, can we get back to playing the game?"

"Of course, Angela!"

Angela looked towards Genji and Ana, wordlessly asking them to accept.

"If that's how it must be."

"Very well."

"Alright, it's settled, then."

* * *

James, the Gunslinger, threw his arms into the air with gusto. "Alright, it's settled, then. We breach through the front entrance, rescue the damsel, get the loot. Any questions?"

"Yeah, I've got a question. How did you morons not notice us surrounding you?"

The four wanderers looked around and found themselves, indeed, surrounded by the the bandits they had intended to attack. Pistols, blades, and other pain-causing devices pointed towards them, the group promptly dropped their weapons.

"Oh god dammit," James muttered.


	4. Chapter 4

Jabez, the war-hardened soldier, was no stranger to plans going awry, but this was certainly something else. It was one thing to get captured by bandits, but it wasn't until they figured out said bandits were actually a cult of crazy dragon-worshippers that, as James had said, things "got interesting". As of right now, that "interesting" meant waiting in a dungeon to be sacrificed by said dragon-worshippers, bound to his companions by rope

"Now, I know this looks bad," James began, "but I assure you that I have everything… under… control…" James' assurances were broken up by grunts of effort and shifting of the entire group across the stone floor. He was clearly trying to get free of his bindings, and wasn't having a particularly easy time.

* * *

"Bullshit, Jesse! I rolled a 17, not even factoring in the +4 from my dexterity modifier!"

Genji had never seen Dr. Ziegler angry like this, and certainly hadn't expected it to be caused by a board game. He didn't hate it.

Jesse only shrugged. "Maybe you shoulda taken proficiency in escape artist instead of relying on your attribute bonus, but whaddo I know?

* * *

"Goddamnit-" the Gunslinger continued to mumble.

Jabez wordlessly slid a switchblade into his hand from the inside of his sleeve, flicking it open with a well-practiced motion. The ropes fell limp, and the Soldier climbed to his feet. As James was still processing what had happened, Jabez cleared his throat.

"Back in my day, these cultists would've been shut down already. Get a move-on, people."

Armina, the Alchemist, let out a hearty laugh. "Justice will be done, my friend."

"Okay, but how're we gonna go around dispensin' justice if we're still stuck in this cell, huh?" James piped up.

There was an odd silence in the air, almost as though the four were mentally checking what talents they had that could be applicable to the scenario.

"I… have an idea," said Jiro, perhaps the fourth sentence the group had heard him speak since their first meeting. "There is a technique my brother once used to escape a prison carriage…"

…

James lay on the floor of the cell, doing his best to mimic a violent sickness. It wasn't long before the guards took notice, after which they decided to check on their prisoner - their lord would not be happy if the sacrifice was tainted, after all. As the door opened, they were greeted with the flash of a blade and a momentary scuffle, left limp on the stone before they could react.

The party moved swiftly and quietly through the halls of the (once-abandoned, now cult-controlled) ruins. Jiro led the way, darting his head from dusty corner to dusty corner, signaling to the others when they should stop, as well as when it was safe to continue. It wasn't that they weren't confident in their ability to defeat anyone that should challenge them (their weapons, out of some mixture of stupidity and poor planning, had been left in a box somewhat close to their cell), but the majority of the four were more comfortable with avoiding open combat until they had a better idea of the situation (Armina was the only exception, who had proposed a substantially louder course of action).

Voices were coming from up ahead, monotone and layered, and Jabez guessed it was a sort of chant. They were probably close to… something, whatever it was. The group followed the sound, moving even slower as to be completely certain that they wouldn't be given away by their movements. It wasn't hard to find the source, and as Jiro peeked around a corner, he saw an unsettling sight: an open chamber, featuring an unfortunate woman bound to a sacrificial table, and a robed figure in the center performing some sort of ritual, flanked on either side by rows of similarly robed individuals.

James stepped out into the chamber, hand floating above the grip of his trusty revolver.

" _What the hell are you doing,"_ Jabez hissed.

Ignoring him entirely, James waltzed further towards the back of the central individual, under the gaze of dozens of shadowed eyes.

" _Creating a distraction,"_ Jiro whispered back to his irritated companion. He realized that, with such a bold move, it would be easy to slip in and rescue the hostage. Mission accomplished. He closed his eyes and concentrated, stepping into darkness.

As he vanished from sight, the Soldier and the Alchemist were left wishing there was far more communication than there had been.

"Hear ya'll've been stirrin' up some trouble 'round these parts. Now, as a good samaritan myself, I can't leave that be, y'hear?"

As the one in the center started to turn, James drew his weapon in the blink of an eye and fired off six shots, each hitting their mark. Their robe was riddled with holes, the body underneath staggering.

Staggering, only for a brief moment. To James' dismay, the figure seemed to recover in close to an instant. Devilish laughter filled the air, and he shielded his eyes as a blinding flash filled the room. By the time it ended, the robe had been burned to ashes, and a horned being coated in red scales, glowing with arcane energy stood in its place.

* * *

"Alright, now, before we roll initiative, my stomach is achin' somethin' fierce. Ya'll want pizza?"

Angela was the first to speak, followed by Reinhardt.

"Why do you always have to interrupt the game right before the big fights, Jesse?"

"IT WAS JUST GETTING GOOD!"

"Well, we can keep goin', I'm just saying that it's gonna take a while before anything gets here, so we might as well order now, y'know?"

"Fine, order the pizza. Verdammt."

"Everyone good with pineapple?"

Genji looked around in confusion as Jesse was met with sounds of agreement.

"You all eat pineapple on your pizza?"

"Oh. Uh, yeah. We figured out one day that we all like pineapple, so we've just been gettin' that ever since."

"But don't feel like you need to, Genji, We all know it's a little bit of a weird topping," Angela interjected. "With this many people we would probably need to get two anyways, so we can order one with just cheese."

"Sorry, it's not that, Doctor, I was just surprised. I always used to want pineapple, but my… brother… would never let me. He said it was disgusting."

"Well, ain't that somethin? Two pineapple, then."


End file.
